Power of a Memory

Author: Rifka Bose /

It was a blistering hot day. "She" sat there dazed, looking through the glass panels and scorching heat piercing through every crevice in sight. Despite the blazing heat "she" felt a cold spot within her. What could it be "she" wondered! Then came by a bright yellow golden oriole and in a second the view from the window was so appealing. That little golden spot wasn't only a sight for sore eyes but was also an instant reminder of some great holidays "she" had been on in the yester years. The memories of first sighting this golden burst in the early morning mist in the interiors of a jungle. "She" was dazed again, and kind of set back in that time. What a lovely time indeed. Suddenly the little yellow bird flew away. "She" snapped back into the moment and realised she had regressed into a time that no longer existed. Once again the gloom of the present hurled itself at "she" and the cold spot within her started spreading more. "She" was quite perplexed to observe that though "she" was dazed all along...the sight of the bird stopped the cold within her from growing and as soon as the bird flew away "she" was back at square one. The power of a memory can move mountains!

Broken

Author: Rifka Bose /

"She" was sitting by the window gazing into the blue sky. The soft white clouds floated by and the fiery bursts of orange Gulmohar speckled this blue and white palette. It seemed so beautiful yet there lingered a sadness deep within. "She" wished "she" could be like the floating clouds in the sky unperturbed by nothing ...but "she" was broken from within unlike the clouds that were collected ball of water droplets!

In life its so important to keep yourself together...else the winds of strife and pain will blow you away...

Flash of a Second

Author: Rifka Bose /

All it takes is a flash of a second sometimes to change someone’s life over….

Friday the 13th is supposed to be a doomed day – so they say – but “she” never believed in all this. While  “she” was pottering away doing her usual chores “she” heard a thud. “She” rushed to the living room and there “she” saw this almost lifeless mass on the floor. “She” looked closely at the face of her mother and started shaking her about. Thankfully in sometime the lifelessness passed but what was left behind was a spiritless, lifeless human being whose soul was so badly tattered that no amount of comforting or warmth could revive this poor soul.

As “she” stood over this woman – her mother – “she” felt a chill run through her spine. “She” could see small vignettes of the road ahead.  Watching a parent deteriorate in front of one’s own eyes is not only heart wrenching for the child but also crushes the spirit of the parent.



“She” soon realized, the haunting fear had finally become a reality. Life changed in a flash of a second.

Thoughts

Author: Rifka Bose /

As i sit watching this white ghostly tree i wonder, if it feels the same sentiments as i do. Despite having shed all its leaves it still has a charm and serenity which i hope to adopt someday.

Through trying and tough times, its really hard, maybe even close to impossible to stay calm and tranquil. This tree however, emits a a sense of self reliance and knows that with the change of seasons, it will bloom again...since change is the only constant thing in life... 

13 long years....

Author: Rifka Bose /


Time seems to have flown and continues to fly....Looking back thirteen years makes me wonder where the strength came from. The strength to plod along and face all odds at a tender young age...

There comes phases in one’s life when we reach rock bottom....the dark clouds floating around seem to block every speck of possible sunlight...

However, the dark clouds never last forever. Having said that neither does the sunlight. Life is all about balancing and it seems to do it on its own. So just leave it to the universe to pan its path out for you....


Lost

Author: Rifka Bose /

The worst feeling ever is being with someone and realising that something you once shared ceases to exist anymore.
My prayer would be for no one to ever feel this feeling....
The righteous brothers have aptly made this track...so sad but yet so true...


The lyrics for "You've Lost that Loving Feeling by the Righteous Brothers

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.
And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips.
You're trying hard not to show it, (baby).
But baby, baby I know it...

You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling,
You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Now it's gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.

Now there's no welcome look in your eyes
when I reach for you.
And now your're starting to critisize little things I do.
It makes me just feel like crying, (baby).
'Cause baby, something in you is dying.

You lost that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling,
You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Now it's gone...gone...gone...woooooah

Baby, baby, I get down on my knees for you.

If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah.

We had a love...a love...a love you don't find everyday.

So don't...don't...don't...don't let it slip away.

Baby (baby), baby (baby),
I beg of you please...please,
I need your love (I need your love),
I need your love (I need your love),
So bring it on back (So bring it on back),
Bring it on back (so bring it on back).

Bring back that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling,
'Cause it's gone...gone...gone,
and I can't go on,
noooo...

Bring back that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling,
'Cause it's gone...gone...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8hjtFq3vE0

Habit

Author: Rifka Bose /


She sat there staring into space, hearing the hands of the clock go tick tock tick tock, wondering how long it will take for this time to pass.

“This too shall pass” said almost every second person she knew but somehow that didn’t seem to translate to the empty void she felt. The pain was now almost gone but the vacuum was so frightening that she would quiver!

The only question that went on in a never ending loop in her head like a broken record was “why”. The answer to that why was with that someone who she could not see or hear or feel. Why can’t you talk to me God, she screamed with tears streaming down her cheeks. Why! , she said holding on to her pillow so tight that it almost gave way.

Then there was a sudden stillness a sudden thought just entered her. It was as if God was responsing! Time froze for a fraction of a second for her. She walked up to the mirror and looked at her puffy eyes and moist cheeks. What am i crying for she said? Why do we always want what we can’t get? Why are we given a teaser trailer of a dream and then the same dream is snatched away?

She still kept asking the same question, “why”.

The thought that had entered was not clear but it felt as if it were travelling deep into the tissues of her brain and heart. She tried to grab hold of it but it slipped so deep within her that she felt she was losing her mind.
She collapsed on the floor, held onto her stuffed toy and started sobbing again. She sobbed so hard that she reached a point where not a tear was left. 

She began to feel numb. Numb to a point that the she lost sensation in her fingers and toes. As she lay there gazing at her ceiling, suddenly out of nowhere that little thought suddenly grew clearer. It was as if the thought was waiting for the opportune moment.

Lying there eyes closed, the thought metamorphosized into a soft little voice. The voice was so very soothing and peaceful. The voice said to her,
“In life there are times when we find ourselves at a juncture where we feel we are losing all that we have and everything that we are attached to. The question here is what exactly can we call our own?
Is it really something we have or a habit that we are so used to that we feel lost without it?
A friend moving cities, losing a parent, a loved one walking away, losing a job we love a lot or a pet going to sleep forever.
Are you habituated to these situations and people? Is that why you feel like a fish out of water in their absence?
You know what your problem is said the voice to her. You are so involved with whatever you do that a habit becomes your reality. There is nothing wrong except that it ends up causing this vacuum in you, said the voice.

Suddenly her eyes opened. She felt a sense of peace. She smiled and looked up. Thank you God she said. Thank you for speaking to me.

She remembered the serenity prayer and said it out loud:
        God, give us grace to accept with serenity
        the things that cannot be changed,
        Courage to change the things
        which should be changed,
        and the Wisdom to distinguish
        the one from the other.

        Living one day at a time,
        Enjoying one moment at a time,
        Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
        Taking, as Jesus did,
        This sinful world as it is,
        Not as I would have it,
        Trusting that You will make all things right,
        If I surrender to Your will,
        So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
        And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
        Amen.