Thoughts

Author: Rifka Bose /

As i sit watching this white ghostly tree i wonder, if it feels the same sentiments as i do. Despite having shed all its leaves it still has a charm and serenity which i hope to adopt someday.

Through trying and tough times, its really hard, maybe even close to impossible to stay calm and tranquil. This tree however, emits a a sense of self reliance and knows that with the change of seasons, it will bloom again...since change is the only constant thing in life... 

13 long years....

Author: Rifka Bose /


Time seems to have flown and continues to fly....Looking back thirteen years makes me wonder where the strength came from. The strength to plod along and face all odds at a tender young age...

There comes phases in one’s life when we reach rock bottom....the dark clouds floating around seem to block every speck of possible sunlight...

However, the dark clouds never last forever. Having said that neither does the sunlight. Life is all about balancing and it seems to do it on its own. So just leave it to the universe to pan its path out for you....


Lost

Author: Rifka Bose /

The worst feeling ever is being with someone and realising that something you once shared ceases to exist anymore.
My prayer would be for no one to ever feel this feeling....
The righteous brothers have aptly made this track...so sad but yet so true...


The lyrics for "You've Lost that Loving Feeling by the Righteous Brothers

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.
And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips.
You're trying hard not to show it, (baby).
But baby, baby I know it...

You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling,
You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Now it's gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.

Now there's no welcome look in your eyes
when I reach for you.
And now your're starting to critisize little things I do.
It makes me just feel like crying, (baby).
'Cause baby, something in you is dying.

You lost that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling,
You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Now it's gone...gone...gone...woooooah

Baby, baby, I get down on my knees for you.

If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah.

We had a love...a love...a love you don't find everyday.

So don't...don't...don't...don't let it slip away.

Baby (baby), baby (baby),
I beg of you please...please,
I need your love (I need your love),
I need your love (I need your love),
So bring it on back (So bring it on back),
Bring it on back (so bring it on back).

Bring back that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling,
'Cause it's gone...gone...gone,
and I can't go on,
noooo...

Bring back that lovin' feeling,
Whoa, that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling,
'Cause it's gone...gone...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8hjtFq3vE0

Habit

Author: Rifka Bose /


She sat there staring into space, hearing the hands of the clock go tick tock tick tock, wondering how long it will take for this time to pass.

“This too shall pass” said almost every second person she knew but somehow that didn’t seem to translate to the empty void she felt. The pain was now almost gone but the vacuum was so frightening that she would quiver!

The only question that went on in a never ending loop in her head like a broken record was “why”. The answer to that why was with that someone who she could not see or hear or feel. Why can’t you talk to me God, she screamed with tears streaming down her cheeks. Why! , she said holding on to her pillow so tight that it almost gave way.

Then there was a sudden stillness a sudden thought just entered her. It was as if God was responsing! Time froze for a fraction of a second for her. She walked up to the mirror and looked at her puffy eyes and moist cheeks. What am i crying for she said? Why do we always want what we can’t get? Why are we given a teaser trailer of a dream and then the same dream is snatched away?

She still kept asking the same question, “why”.

The thought that had entered was not clear but it felt as if it were travelling deep into the tissues of her brain and heart. She tried to grab hold of it but it slipped so deep within her that she felt she was losing her mind.
She collapsed on the floor, held onto her stuffed toy and started sobbing again. She sobbed so hard that she reached a point where not a tear was left. 

She began to feel numb. Numb to a point that the she lost sensation in her fingers and toes. As she lay there gazing at her ceiling, suddenly out of nowhere that little thought suddenly grew clearer. It was as if the thought was waiting for the opportune moment.

Lying there eyes closed, the thought metamorphosized into a soft little voice. The voice was so very soothing and peaceful. The voice said to her,
“In life there are times when we find ourselves at a juncture where we feel we are losing all that we have and everything that we are attached to. The question here is what exactly can we call our own?
Is it really something we have or a habit that we are so used to that we feel lost without it?
A friend moving cities, losing a parent, a loved one walking away, losing a job we love a lot or a pet going to sleep forever.
Are you habituated to these situations and people? Is that why you feel like a fish out of water in their absence?
You know what your problem is said the voice to her. You are so involved with whatever you do that a habit becomes your reality. There is nothing wrong except that it ends up causing this vacuum in you, said the voice.

Suddenly her eyes opened. She felt a sense of peace. She smiled and looked up. Thank you God she said. Thank you for speaking to me.

She remembered the serenity prayer and said it out loud:
        God, give us grace to accept with serenity
        the things that cannot be changed,
        Courage to change the things
        which should be changed,
        and the Wisdom to distinguish
        the one from the other.

        Living one day at a time,
        Enjoying one moment at a time,
        Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
        Taking, as Jesus did,
        This sinful world as it is,
        Not as I would have it,
        Trusting that You will make all things right,
        If I surrender to Your will,
        So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
        And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
        Amen.


Wee Hours Drive

Author: Rifka Bose /


The nip in the air and the stillness of the night beckons me to take on the wheel and head out for my wee hour drive....as i cruise down empty dark roads, the sudden pale but prominent street light comes as a gentle reminder that after dark there is light...

The question then arises how long will this dark last? The want and desire to find the light and hold on to it is so strong but the knowledge of knowing that nothing is permanent is also daunting!